A Study on Relationships is about our personal relationship with God and how it effects our relationships with others.
Are your relationships healthy?
Believe it or not, the quality of our relationships on earth depend on the quality of our relationship with God. Don't believe it? Did I stretch it a little? Just take a moment and think about this. Do I (you) respect others, unconditionally; do I consider anothers opinion without judgement on a consistent basis; do I struggle with loving the unlovable; am I patient when I am tired of forgiving... etc. Now, I'll say it again...the quality our relationships on earth depend on our relationship with God.
Secondly, believe it or not, our quality of self respect also depends on our relationship with God. Yikes...now I'm getting personal!
Let's start with US, WE...YOU AND ME first:Do you find that you get easily bugged and irritated with yourself?Maybe a little but we very conveniently find very good reason why we think, act, and say what we do.However – do you find that others in your relationships drive you nuts! ?What is it about them anyway….?‘They’ say they’ll call…they don’t.‘They’ never pick up after themselves.‘They’ don’t share the way you do.‘They’ don’t listen when you are talking…always interrupting.‘They’ are always late…so inconsiderate.‘They’ talk about others behind their backs…you wouldn’t think of it.‘They’ always want something from me.
You can probably add to this list?Do you find that these agitations, small within themselves, get you aggravated to the point of anger?
Ecc. 7:9“Be not hasty in the spirit to be angry: for anger resteth (resides) in the bosom (lap) of fools.” Don’t be in a hurry to be upset!That means that there is an issue of control.When we instruct a child in behavior for instance, in effect we are saying ‘control yourself’.Think about it….share with others -two cookies is enough; do your homework now so that it is done and you can enjoy the evening; don’t raise your voice to me (there are consequences); etc.,you are saying ‘learn to control yourself.'As adults, we too, need to use control in matters before us.Along with control there is an issue ofattitude – which will be covered in every area of this study.
This verse literally says DO NOT be quick to get angry…anger lives in a fool!As Christian women, we are to utilize the wisdom of God…living as a fool, just doesn’t cut it.
Here's a suggestion:
James 1:19,20 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift (ready) to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (anger) for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” KJV NIV “…everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Did you notice here that "let every man" and "everyone should be" - is a matter of choice? Still...they are instructions from God that imitate Him...and that's how we are to walk in our relationships.
So what are we going to do about the way we act – the feelings we get and the lack of control in our lives regarding frustration?GOD’S WORD – OUR WILLINGNESS and DESIRE is the key.
Is there anything about YOU that you would like to change?That covers a lot of ground…cosmetic, attitude, trust, loyalty, cleanliness, morals…etc.Do you know of anything others would like to change about you?WHY? Analyzing yourself is not an easy task.We don’t see US as others see US.We don’t always recognize the things that need worked on – and vice versa.
What do you measure your worth against?If it is anything other than the attributes of God (Jesus) your measuring stick will be a short one.
BIG QUESTION:How much of what you would like to change is SIN?Anything that is sin you can change.What I mean is this…You may like to change your height…(ME - I'm 4'11"...or at least I was before the age thing took over) but the only way that can be done is by manipulation (shoes – a big hat!).My stature has nothing to do with sin even if I would like to be taller and wish I could change – sin is not an issue (unless I am obsessed with being short to the point of despair)…however if I would like to stop gossiping…well, gossip is sinful and I surely can do something about that.I can repent, ask for God’s help and overcome through the power of the Holy Spirit.I can stop gossiping…I can’t actually stop being short (almost said small, but that’s another issue)
Do you find that you make excuses for yourself, even the sin in your life?First things first.If there are things you would like to change; list them in order of reality.In other words, I can’t change where I was born, or the color of my skin, or who my parents are (were) BUT I can change my (your) attitude towards them.I can’t undo the sin I have done….but I can turn away so that I do not repeat it.
By now you may have guessed that all of us – that’s WE- are not perfect.We mess up, sometimes unawares and other times knowing but with indifference…but God – well “his wayis perfect”his word is flawless (without error or fault) and guess what! … He is a shield to all those that trust and hide in him!(NIVPsalm 18:30 – emphasis mine) Even in our imperfection God takes care of us…that should inspire us to do everything we can to rid ourselves of sin or hopelessness.
Without the confidence of whom and what we are, how can we feel respect for ourselves and how can others treat us accordingly?Think on this:Confidence is more than an opinion of oneself.It is like a growth hormone.When your Confidence is in the Lord Jesus Christ, it is HE that works through you.How can you not be lovable, sincere, sin less, and even beautiful when you represent the Son of God?When we live in the confidence of the Savior we grow in our graces and temperaments of God.
Concentrate on the promises of God and you will grow: Grow in love -Grow in graciousness – Grow in patience – Grow in tenderness – Grow in acceptance of others – Grow in kindness – Grow in boldness – Grow in hospitalities –
Grow in (fill this in with the area you see you need the most change)
When we are in a love relationship with God it is much easier to love and care for all others because it is His love that comes through us.
Walking in Peace / division of C.O.P.E. Women's Ministries Sue Puff, author
