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Feelin' Trapped...?
Planning your escape? Do you really want to get under the radar and away from it all.....?
No Easy Way Out!
It wasn't that many years ago when it was not so un-common to hear that a woman would leave her responsibilities behind to go 'find herself'.
This was very popular when my children were little and it was becoming more and more accepted to leave kids and household duties behind for the adventure of personal careers and high bracket incomes; but at what expense?
To be fair, just about every woman I know has felt trapped at one time or another and I am no exception. My grandmother once told me to hold on to my dreams for if I ever stopped dreaming they could never come true. I believe that to be right and yet I am just as happy that all my dreams did not take place. It is like asking God to answer ALL of your prayers according to your desires but in hind sight you recognize that if He did, your life would be a mess.
Yes, sometimes I have felt trapped. There are reasons for that. In today's society we are bombarded with visual temptations that can lure anyone into thinking that the world is far better off than we are. Everyone is traveling and buying big cars and living in luxurious houses with a TV in every room and beautiful landscaped lawns that they never have to tend. Though people are concentrating on small families we are building houses big enough for a family of seven or more which means 3 baths in every home and a cell phone in every hand; for after all, to live in these big houses you will need to call the children up from the play room while texting your husband to come in from the garage. Today it is acceptable to reduce personal communication to impersonal technology. To top it off, we have bills and sometimes scowl due to worry but not the world - the world is healthy, wealthy and grinning from ear to ear. Why can't we live like that? After all, money isn't everything, but a little extra would be nice and I wouldn't mind testing myself to see if I could handle being 'rich'. (sigh).... in hind sight, even I don't believe all these things leave a positive impact on our lives.
But, along with thousands of other woman I occasionally feel trapped by my circumstances. Would I give up my position or memories? ...no. Would I give up my children and their families? ...no. Would I give up on my relationship with my husband? ...no. Would I regret the majority of decisions I have made as an adult?...no. I guess there are some things I would do differently...I think; like get a better education and take better care of my health or take more time to listen to God.
My feelings of entrapment comes from one thing...the choices that I have made.
Recently I visited the Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield, Ohio. It was an awesome experience. It made me think a lot about consequences. Some of the cells are only 6' by 9' and they held two in-mates. The upper echelon in-mates lived two in a cell that were 9' by 9' - so spoiled if you ask me!
Their decisions and actions put them behind bars, some for life. I saw the 'hole' where convicts were placed when they were a danger to themselves or others. Do you like to take a leisurely bath or shower, well picture hundred of men at a time, filing in one after another, walking along in a line under the water, once a week, whether they needed it or not! Even if there could have been one man to a cell instead of two there was no such thing as privacy. There is no luxury in prison as to feeling weak - if you felt it you didn't dare show it. In the museum are home made weapons forged and shaped by in-mates; it was their way of staying in control of their lives.
I stood inside one of those cells and looked through the bars and asked myself "Could I stay sane being penned up in a cell? Just how did the men who once stood in this place manage to survive?" Over 200 men died in OSR, I wonder if any of them or the thousands of others who lived out their sentence at the reformatory/prison ever came to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior?"
The reformatory no longer is used as a prison, but is being preserved as a land mark of history. Though there has been a lot of damage to the building, it stands as a reminder that the choices that man (and woman) have made since time began reflects on the sins and/or righteous choices that make up our character and dictate the rewards or punishments we receive.
God in his word points us to the road that we should take in order to make right choices. He invites us to come to Him for understanding and sound judgment. He warns us that to live without wisdom is asking for failure.
The book of Proverbs over flows with wisdom and common sense advise. Challenge yourself to read at least a chapter of Proverbs a day and then go back and re-read it.
Proverbs 11:27 declares "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it." That's easy to understand isn't it? Yet we work so hard to straighten out the world, just so we can fit in and not feel snared by another's dictates...even God's!
Feeling trapped, sometimes, is just not counting the blessings that we already have. Focus on what Jesus has already done for you and read up on the promises of God. If those two areas don't make you feel more satisfied and content then you have a bigger problem than even you are aware of.
Trust the Word. It will fill you with peace and joy and contentment; but first you have to read and meditate on it. Don't cheat yourself out of a good thing by wallowing in a pool of pity. Satan will only deepen the waters to flood over your head. Recognize that God has already thrown you the lifeline. Grab on to it.
[For more photographs of the reformatory, visit the Reflections page.]
Walking in Peace / division of C.O.P.E. Women's Ministries Sue Puff, author
