The Power of Words
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
(Proverbs 16:24 NIV)
“Mom, I want to be just like you when I grow up…” I remember saying those words as a child.”
Mom has dementia now and doesn’t remember me as a child – she doesn’t remember me much as an adult for that matter, but most days she knows me and that’s enough for most days.
A few months ago during on one of my nightly visits to her we got to giggling. She’s a great giggler now and we’re still making memories. We finally settled down and she became very quiet and I asked “Mom, what are you thinking about?” She answered “Nothing...I don’t think,” and gave another soft giggle. The conversation that ensued went something like this:
Mom – “You must be tired of being with me after working all day.”
Me – “No, Mom, I’m retired now and don’t worry, I enjoy being here with you.”
She gave me a quizzical look and said –
“Why?”
Me – “Because I love you and you are still teaching me (I squeezed her and kissed her nose)…and because I want to be just like you when I grow up!”
I was astonished when she replied “Oh, no, you don’t want to be like me!”
I had heard her say that only once before, and now over 55 years later she repeated it with the same clarity and firmness as she did then. I still desire to be like her. In her humility she never saw herself as the precious gift that she is.
As a child I never knew any one that didn’t love my mother. In my adult years that statement remains true. She has always been a woman of strength and kindness; a woman who could have dwelled on hard times, yet instead set the example of taking care of ‘now.’ She believed in all of her children. She didn’t have much confidence in herself but believed that we were great and could do great things. She was a woman of few words but you always knew she believed in you – she was proud of you...and though she rarely spoke up or stood her ground for herself but she was brave.
I think I could write a book of wisdom from her words but for here and now let me say that though she didn’t ‘quote’ scripture she relayed it in her life and in her own way. She taught me not to react in anger which was very easy for me to do as a teen. Her words were not to judge… “Don’t point your finger at anyone else and do not gossip about anyone, because you never know when it could come back on you.”
Of course there was always the line at the dinner table “Eat –there are children starving in India.” I remember the first time I heard that and thought to myself… “Where’s India? …and besides Indians have corn!” [I never said I was a smart child]
After repeating a word I heard at school, I got screamed at by my sister – boy was she angry. I guess I shouldn’t have called her that word, but I was mad and girl #1 at school was also mad when she called girl #2 that same name, so I thought it was appropriate.
It was Mom who quietly told me “unless you know what a word means, you would be better off not saying it…especially that one.” Now you know what happens next – I simply asked “Well, what does it mean?” Mom stopped in her tracks, turned around and said what mothers said at that time… “Someday, when you grow up I’ll tell you.”.” I added it to my ‘mental list’ of things Mom had promised to explain when I grew up.
Just how powerful are words? The Psalmist wrote [Psalm 19:14] Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O Lord…
We don’t always say what we mean and we don’t always mean what we say, but it is obvious that the sincerity of our thoughts are clear to God, regardless as to whether our thoughts are public or not. I think that verse teaches us that our words and the reasons behind them should honor Him. If we kept that in mind our conversations would be oh, so different!
The Strength of Our Words:
“I love you”- words that bond and give security
“I hate you”- words that hurt, separate, cause despair, depression and anger
“I’m sorry” – words that mend
“I don’t care” – words of indifference
“I believe in you” – words that encourage and inspire
“I’m proud of you” – words that build esteem and relationship
“Good job, well done!” – words that build confidence
“Why can’t you be like your brother” – words that are divisive and cause resentment
“You can do it!” – words that instills confidence to keep on keeping on
“You’ll only fail” – words that convince others to give up and lose faith in oneself
I wish I could say that my words have never hurt anyone. I can’t say that, can you? I have a quick tongue that I have longed to harness for ages. I have grieved the Spirit of God when I have allowed this member of my body to be first on the job. One thing that gives me hope is the fact that Jesus said “Heaven and earth will pass away but my words will never pass away” (Matthew 24:35 NIV). It is good to know that the truth of God’s own words are forever and my attempts of verbal wisdom and intellect or even my attempt to control circumstances and people through the use of words are short lived. God reigns eternal – all his thoughts, his words, his ways and plans. Praise God.
Here’s the thing…there isn’t a person alive that hasn’t been either encouraged or stifled by someone’s words. Remember this one from our mom? – “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. Good advice, yet I know people who can’t keep quiet and if they can’t think of something nice to say…they lie!
My mom was always the example of diplomacy and tact…well, she was. Now however she has been given the poetic license to be frank - very, very frank. It cracks me up. She will certainly say the truth as she understands it now and because of her situation it is very refreshing and it reminds you that if you don’t want the truth…don’t ask!
To the Moms Out There –
What you say and how you say it is powerful. Living what you say is even more powerful.
I know you want your children to be godly, strong and honest; hard workers and good workers – it doesn’t start in school it starts with you.
To the Wives Out There - (especially those with unsaved spouses)
Your words should be an expression of your heart and you heart should express Christ and if you have that perspective, your spouse will see a love and kindness, an intelligence and confidence that is truly beautiful. You don’t need to compete with the ‘beauty of the world’.
Don’t ever give up!
Praise God every day for the opportunity to teach the words of God through your walk with Christ. You won’t ever hear me say that it will be easy. But press on, for whatever you read in the scriptures that accomplished anything was not easy. Old Testament and New Testament examples of godly men and women had the same strengths that you are offered through the same God. He is true – He is faithful- He is love and He is available to walk with you anywhere at anytime for any reason.
How mighty is the power of words?
A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:7, 21
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